General Anxiety

The last day has been pretty good. Last night I hung out with a buddy from work which was a nice break. What sucks is that when I got home, I crawled into bed thinking it's been a good day, I should sleep soundly. And for some unknown reason, a random thought popped into my head. That my wife could still be communicating with Mr. Affair #1 via her work email. I don't know why I thought of such a thing at that time, but I did; and then couldn't get it out of my head. I ended up having to take sleeping pills to get to sleep. Then today, I feel the same sort of general anxiety. There's nothing specific I'm worried about, but it just feels like someone else is bound to be coming. Over the last couple months, it seems like some new thing comes up on nearly a weekly basis. So it seems like it's just about time again for something to hit me. I know my wife can see it in my face that something is wrong. But I hate to say anything. And what would I say anyway? I'm worried she's going to do something dumb again because she can't seem to stop doing dumb things that hurt our relationship? I guess that's the truth, but it would likely piss her off; and I don't need another fight. Or even for her to be upset. She's been happy today which makes me feel better. She rubbed my head in bed last night and held my hand in the car today; and those kinds of things make me feel good. So I'd like her to stay in a good mood. So I'll likely just shut up. Hopefully this will go away. And god do I hope she finally stops doing stupid shit.